As the sun set at
Seven Mile, near Moab, Utah,
Coney the Traffic Cone slowly came
to his senses. The
Wild Burro of the
West, also known as the
Moab Burro Crane,
was not coming back any time soon. "We'd better hoof it back to
Moab Ranch", Coney
said, not noticing that he had no hooves or feet.
Plush Kokopelli was "living in the now" and felt no such remorse or regret. He simply smiled and then seemed to disappear. Shaking his head from side to side, Coney said, "There he goes again, using his fifth-dimensional superpowers to travel wherever he wants".
Refusing to believe that he had any superhero powers of his own, Coney began the seven-mile cone-walk back to their home at Moab Ranch. Two hours after dark, when Coney finally tripped through the gate at Moab Ranch, Plush Kokopelli was already there, sitting on the bunkhouse porch and playing his flute. "You are going to have to teach me how you do that", said Coney. With a twinkle in his eye, Kokopelli said nothing, and then went back to playing his flute.
Hearing Coney moaning about his long trek, Moabbey the Coyote and Silver Girl came out to see what Coney was up to this time. When he saw them, Coney started gushing information. "The Moab Burro is gone from Seven Mile. I think he may have been contaminated with nuclear waste from the old Moab Pile. He was sitting there on the railroad tracks for years and the 'Train of Pain' may have contaminated him with nuclear radiation. I think he might be out on the railroad tracks of America, sick or injured."
Moabbey growled and then said, "If I hadn't sold my Apple Power Mac G4 Cube, we could have found him in a minute. It had a 4-D chromatic-hypersphere display, like the one that the Wizard of Oz used in that old movie. My display could tune in anyone, anywhere at any time."
Super Girl frowned and then said, "So for $75, you sold one of our superhero superpowers?
Moabbey sighed and said, "It seemed like a lot of money at the time. But now, I wish I had my Mac G4 Cube back".
"There is no use moping around", said Super Girl. "We shall improvise. Do you still have that hundred-year-old Remington typewriter that you found down at the Moab Pile? It was from the office at the old Atlas Uranium Mill, so it surely got a good dose of radiation back in the day. Maybe we could rig up a screen on it and tune it to the whereabouts of the Moab Burro".
Coney looked up admiringly at Silver Girl. "You always are the smart one, aren't you?" he said.
When she said, "Why, thank you for the compliment, Coney", as he blushed a particularly vibrant orange color.
"OK, here it is," said Moabbey, attaching a 4-D chromatic-hypersphere display to the ancient typewriter. "Look, it's working already. Isn't that the Moab Burro out there on the railroad tracks? What is he doing? He looks like he is running amuck with a giant chainsaw, cutting down every tree in sight".
"This is worse than I thought", cried Coney. "If we don't stop him, he could cut down every tree for miles around. What should we do?"
With a knowing look, Silver Girl turned to Coney and said, "Isn't it about time that you became the superhero that you always wanted to be? Kokopelli used is fifth dimensional powers of travel to get from Seven Mile to Moab Ranch in an instant. You, on the other hand, trudged overland for hours to return to Moab Ranch."
"Yes", said Coney, "but no one ever said that I could transport myself like Kokopelli does, using worm holes and string theory."
"There, you just said it. You understand the theory. If you ask Kokopelli nicely, I am sure that he will help you find the Moab Burro before he destroys the entire Manti La Sal forest". Then Silver Girl turned to Kokopelli to see his reaction.
Kokopelli dropped his flute for a moment and then blushed in his brightest multi-colored blush.
Silver Girl looked at Coney and said, "There. That proves it. He is ready to go. All you have to do is ask".
Coney hesitated, shuffling from side to side on the floor. "I'm not sure I can do it", he finally said.
"All you have to do is believe", said Silver Girl, smiling at Coney.
That was enough for Coney. He stood up tall and asked Kokopelli, "Will you please help me save the forest and bring the Moab Burro back to Moab, where he belongs?"
With a twinkle in his eyes, Kokopelli put his flute to his lips, and blew some cool jazz. Before anyone could move, both Kokopelli and Coney disappeared from the room.
Turning to the old typewriter and display, Moabbey said, "Look, there they are, out on the railroad tracks looking for the Moab Burro. Now the Burro is wielding a brush-cutter and he is still going wild. Do you think they can stop the Burro before anyone gets hurt?"
To be continued...